Aug 4, 2004
11:27 PM
for those of u who don't know about my escapade with my back...i had scoliosis...and i went in for surgery for it in September...and it was supposed to fix it all ...and i thought it did...life was good...but now...now...its all gone down the shitter...my back is giving me the fuckin middle finger...and there is nothing i can do about it...nothing...i have to live with this...live with the constant pain...every time i lie down...every time i stand up ...every time i do anything...anything at all...i have pain...simply existing causes me pain...the first thing i feel in the morning when i open my eyes...pain...the last thing i feel before i fall asleep...pain...even in the middle of the night ...i wake up in pain...and there is nothing i can do...except for living my life in a fake lala land of drugs...i choose not to do that...id rather have my eyes open to the horrid pile of flaming dog shit that is my life...now if u will excuse me i have to return my fake smile to my face so that no one sees my pain and saddness...
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