Excuse me

Oct 11, 2006
5:43 PM

You know what this feels like?

It feels like you have a list, a little priority list. And anything and everything in your life is on this list. People, goals, issues, everything. And it seems like when shit gets tough the list has to be cut short, but you cut the bottom off first. And I am just guessing that I am on the bottom of that list, since I have just been pushed out of the picure and you are avoiding me now.

I need to talk to you. I really do. I need to get shit out of the way. Because I am not sure if you even really want me. If you did, I think you would be making a little more of an effort to see me. .

If you really cared about not getting to see me, you would not spend the entire weekend with mike rebuilding a hopeless car (and you said that yourself) and not even spend one of them with me or part of one of them with me. I asked you if you could come by tonight, even if its just for a little bit. And you know what your answer was? That you had to deal with htis car bullshit tonight. How much can you find out aobut your missing car at night? Why is it like you don't even give a fuck about how I feel about all this?

I am not going to try, I have tried. I have explained to you what I expect. I expect honesty. And I expect effort. Neither of those I see right now.It is up to you now. You let me know when you have time for me, you let me know when it is convenient for you to see me. You let me know if I am good enough for you to spend some time on.

Meanwhile I will wait. I will worry, I will be scared, and feel stupid. I will probably cry. And I will get even more pissed as the days go on. And when you finally do decide to come by... I will be waiting.

Excuse me as I find something else to occupy my mind so I don't continue to think about you. So I momentarily forget that you don't care. So for a short few moments I won't be sad.