A waste of life

Aug 29, 2006
12:39 PM

I can feel the blood rushing to my face as the tears run down my cheeks.

I have been so good at not letting it show. Waiting until I know that everyone is asleep so they can't see it. But now it doesn't matter anymore. It happens anywhere and everywhere.

Everytime I apply for a job, I know that they won't call me back. And if by some miracle they do, you think I have the money to wash anything to wear to an interview? Or have the money to even get there? I don't even have a phone to have them call, I have to put down James' phone number.

I can't even support myself. How am I going to be able to do anything for my sisters. All I have are dreams. Dreams of giving them what they deserve. And the more I try to move toward anything, the futher behind I get.

I try to be positive. I try to keep on going. But there is only so much you can take before you break. I know I am strong, but am I strong enough. Strong enough to get back up every single time I am pushed down? Or should I just become unimotional all together. Maybe then these things wouldn't effect me. If I was just some sort of workaholic bitch.

Love and dreams are just a waste of time. All they do is make you realize what a failure you are.